Last year I was introduced to the Zombiesquad on twitter and me and Lily were soon recruited to help out with the growing issue of zombies taking over the world. The Zombiesquad was formed by our leader Winston (@BraveWinston) so I asked him to tell a bit more about the squad and what we do.
Hey Felix, Winston here. I’m dictating this and mum is typing so my spelling should hopefully be a bit better!
We live in a sleepy little English village in the middle of nowhere. I say village, its more like a street. I realised the street needed protecting so formed a street gang with bruv and our two kittehs. At this point we were just your average Vigilante gang. Our gang colours were purple (mum had a purple scarf she didn’t want) which I wore with pride. Anyway, it soon became apparent that we had a big squirrel problem in the village, then one day one of these squirrels turned, teeth snapping and CHASED BRUV!!! It was obviously a zombie!!! It was then I found my calling…to protect our village, indeed the world, from the onset of the zombie apocalypse.
Once I started looking I found zombies of every species everywhere. The problem was massive so I decided to enlist my twitter pals.
The zombie problem is so big I wanted to enlist every age group – everyone has something to offer! So obviously there’s Zombiesquad the main task force but we also have Zombieyoofsquad for all pups wanting to learn the ropes and train to become elite fighters. Vax (@WestieVax) started there. Then there is Zombielders for the more senior of us who are mostly office based, deal with admin- holiday, sick leave, rotas, applications etc. Gorgeous George (@debbiejharding) is office manager – possibly not one of my wisest moves. His secretary is the lovely Rose (@MsRoseCavalier). We have Zombiescouts who are smaller critters (guinea pigs etc) who sneak out to ascertain zombie whereabouts then come back to Zombie Central to report their findings. There is Zombieairborne101 who are those living at high levels – top floor flats, or who spend a lot of time on window sills. The Zombiesquad motto is “Be safe be strong” and our battle cry is “raaaaAaA“.
I will now turn to your questions.
I have no idea how many zombies I have killed. Once I used all my toes to count I used Bruv’s, when I used all his i tried to use the kittehs but got a fur fist in my face and that’s when I lost count. I expect the tally is in the hundreds.
Best way to kill a zombie is direct blow to the head. Obviously height is our biggest problem here so I recommend going in low, say an ankle attack, trip them over, then get at the brains. Raaaa.
Have you ever been hurt by a zombie?
I’ve had a few zombie injuries. I lost a lower front tooth on a particularly tough zombie. Had a paw wound and I’m in my wheelchair because of a nasty zombie fight. I don’t normally admit this as it can be scary for new recruits so I say I have a spinal injury. But my injury has made me stronger, focused and more determined to end this threat to civilisation!
Thank you Winston for your great advice and information. I’m sure it will help spread the word of what we do and how important our task is to keep the human safe from zombies.
If you want to know more or join any of the Zombiesquad divisions, you can contact me or Winston and we will be happy to help out. Winston approves all members and we don’t have a test to join, you just need to tell us where you would be able to help out. Remember zombies come in many disguises such as squirrels, cats and even humans! So be careful out there!
That’s how the doggy biscuit crumbles!